These are the beautiful apple pies my friend and I made a few years ago (please excuse the horrible picture). I thought the successes in polymer clay apple pie making may translate to the medium of real food.
I bought a bag of macintosh apples that looked beautiful and delicious. Everything is going great so far. I even remembered to preheat the oven! I washed, peeled, cored, and sliced the apples with a knife with no major wounds!
Already I succeeded at almost burning down my apartment. This is the only time that the smoke alarm has done any good in the 3,782 times that it has gone off in the last year.
At this point I added the apples, sugars, flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, and lemon juice into the pot on low heat while I made the crust.
I do not have a food processor, so I got my hands dirty working the cold butter into the flour and salt. I always have cold hands, due to my frigid heart. Those more altruistic may need to insulate their hands with some latex gloves to accomplish this or periodically chill the dough if the butter melts too much.
If the dough is still too crumbly, you'll want to add 2-4 tablespoons of ice water. I like my dough flaky so I only added a small portion. This also made my dough harder to roll and work with, so it's your call on how malleable you want it. Reserve about 1/3 for a lattice crust if you're feeling frisky. You can get more creative by using an apple cookie cutter and placing apple-shaped crust on top. That sounds a bit easier than what I tried.
The easy way to transfer your rolled dough to the pie tin is by wrapping it around your rolling pin and unrolling it onto the tin.
Mold the crust to the size of your tin or else!
Bake bottom crust for 5 minutes. If you have pie weights, use them. You can also use dry, uncooked black beans as pie weights.
At this point, your apples are softened up, lubricated, and ready for insertion (in to the pie).
Scoop the apples into the pre-baked pie crust. Be sure not to overfill. Any leftover apples should be immediately consumed.
Roll out the remaining dough all longways and cut lines about 1 inch thick with a pizza cutter. Arrange into a lattice and roll onto the top of the pie similar to the bottom crust.
Melt butter over low heat and tempter into egg white. Brush mixture onto the crust. Bake on a cookie sheet! (I did not and spent 30 minutes cleaning burnt apple pie juice from the bottom of my oven.) Bake for 20 minutes, then cover with a foil tent to keep the crust from burning. Bake for another 30 minutes, periodically brushing on more of the egg white mixture.
Here's the final product with my polymer clay doppleganger. The real apple pie was much less crunchy and served more people than the clay one.
This pie is delicious! It wasn't leaky or dry and the crust was the ultimate in flakiness.
I encourage you to do it yourself, Supreme Beings and share your experiences in the comments below!